


That Time That Derek Healed And Stiles Forgave Him For It

by margewearspants



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Derek is an emotionally repressed dick but he gets better, F/F, F/M, M/M, Pack Feels, stiles knows what he wants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-30 04:45:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8518987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/margewearspants/pseuds/margewearspants
Summary: Stiles and Lydia graduate from college and come back to Beacon Hills. Derek's been waiting.





	1. Have a Good Fucking Life

**Author's Note:**

  * For [manboobs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/manboobs/gifts).



> I wrote this fic for my alpha's birthday: it's my first fic so I'd definitely love to hear your thoughts, so please feel free to comment! Also, do tell me if I forgot any tags, and it isn't betaed so if you see any mistakes also feel free to point those out :)

Stiles had always known that Derek would break his heart. He just never thought it would be quite this painful.

He stared, palms clammy against his thigh, waiting for Derek to crack up and laugh it off, to tell him it was a joke, to put his chest back together, caved in on itself.

Derek crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow, almost as if challenging Stiles to humiliate himself a little further.

Stiles nodded to himself, acknowledging that this was indeed how things with Derek were always going to end. After all, they had been heading towards impact since that first kiss in the woods, covered in blood and riding the high of coming out alive yet another time.

He looked at Derek one last time, smiled bitterly and said: 'Alright. Have a good fucking life.'

Derek didn’t say anything. Stiles slammed the door on his way out.

\---

Derek unclenched his hands, stared at the blood dripping down his wrists from the puncture wounds that his claws had made.

He closed his eyes, listened to Stiles punch the steering wheel before starting the Jeep. Listened to his heartbeat, still too quick, as he peeled out of the parking lot, peeled out of Derek’s life.

His apartment smelled of Stiles. He wondered how long that would stay. He rubbed his chest. He hoped that ache would disappear with the smell. He sighed. He knew better.


	2. Greenberg is the Worst

_4 years later_

Stiles was whistling as he pulled into Beacon Hills, Lydia sleeping in the seat next to him. The drive from San Francisco had been uneventful, and Lydia had finally succumbed to the sleep deprivation that they’d both racked up trying to get through their last finals. Their last finals. Stiles couldn’t quite believe they’d made it. Both of them, with a degree - Stiles in Criminal Justice and Political Science, and Lydia with Honours (obviously) in Mathematics and Physics - and coming back to spend the summer with the pack. It had pretty much been four years since either of them had come back home for a significant amount of time. Oh sure, they’d come to help whenever big supernatural baddies strolled into town, and they’d been guilted into spending two of the past four Christmases here, but that was pretty much it. Between summer jobs and term papers to work on over the breaks, neither Stiles nor Lydia had been back for a while. But that was about to change.

Mostly because Allison and Lydia had finally gotten their act together and started officially going steady a couple months back, to the surprise of absolutely no one. It was only natural that his best friend would want to spend her summer with her girlfriend. Plus, Stiles knew that Lydia had designed a very special regimen to get Allison to qualify for the Olympics, and she wasn’t about to let someone else help train Allison. Also because, well, sweaty naked time in the woods was right up their alley, despite what everyone may think when they saw the two women.

It was too bad that it wasn’t the London Olympics she was trying for, they could have made it a pack holiday, hitting two birds with one stone by visiting Jackson and Danny while seeing her compete. The couple had indeed already moved to UK so that they could find a place before starting work in the fall, having both graduated: Danny from MIT with a degree in software engineering and Jackson from Harvard with a business degree.

Scott and Isaac had moved in together last year, both of them finishing up their studies with work placements this upcoming summer. Scott was doing his with Deaton, and Isaac with Melissa at the hospital. Who would have thought that fashion scarves and an ungodly amount of sarcasm actually hid an uncanny ability to be a compassionate and competent nurse. Stiles would probably have bet on it, come to think of it.

Just like he bet on Erica and Boyd. Who were about to get married. Stiles ruefully shook his head as he pulled into the gas station, careful not to jolt Lydia as he opened the door and walked around the back of the car to refill the tank. He couldn’t believe that he’d be attending the wedding of two of his pack members in a couple of weeks. As Erica’s best man. As her Batman. He smiled to himself and felt once again grateful for the jobs he’d manage to hold as he navigated through his studies that meant he could afford the exorbitant phone bills he racked up from calling the pack pretty much every day for four years.

Well, not the whole pack. Stiles felt the familiar pain pull at his chest as he thought about Derek. About his eyes, whose colour he still hadn’t quite managed to pin down. About his hands, that fit so naturally around his own hips. About his lips, pressed against his as they breathed into each other, breathed for each other. About his words, who’d broken him beyond repair.

The sound of a car door slamming shut broke him out of his reverie.

Lydia stared him down: 'I know what you’re doing. Stop it.'

He stuck his tongue out to her and put the pump back, screwing the lid back onto the tank. Because he was a mature adult, he avoided her on his way into the station. He walked up the counter, picked up a bag of Twinkies and pulled out a fifty as Greenberg rung up his order.

'Stilinski. How long are you in town for?'

'Couple months. The whole summer probably. You know how it is.'

_Greenberg nodded absently, although he did not, in fact, know how it was, having himself never left Beacon Hills except for that one state championship when Coach had yelled at him the whole time. Man, did he miss high school._

Stiles cleared his throat and Greenberg startled, looking embarrassed as he gave him his change back.

'Bye G!' He didn’t have to turn around to know that Greenberg was checking him out as he left the store. Ugh. Greenberg was the worst.

Lydia was looking as put together and fresh as always when he got back in and started the car. No one who saw her now would think that she’d spent the last four hours with her face mashed up against the passenger window. He smiled affectionately, thinking about how lucky he was to have spent three years living with her, laughing with her, healing with her.

'Stop it Stilinski. I can practically hear your feelings.' She rolled her eyes when he winked at her.

'I’m happy Lyds. You and I made it, and we’re going to get to enjoy that fucking victory while hanging out with the pack for the whole summer. Life could not be better.' Stiles did feel good. For the first time in a long time, he wasn’t afraid of seeing Derek. He could even make himself believe that he was looking forward to seeing him. At the very least he could not wait to see the house, now that it was done.

That was where they were going now, Stiles taking the Jeep along the roads he remembered so well back from high school. It was a nice change to drive along them at a leisurely pace, rather than speed through while heading towards yet another near-death experience. Lydia hummed thoughtfully as she looked out the window, as if remembering herself the rocky years that topped off their adolescence. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it. She squeezed it right back.


	3. Scott is a Puppy who Saves Other Puppies

They pulled up to the house as the door banged open, Erica running down the stairs. Stiles barely had time to cut the contact and open the door before she pulled him out of the car and tackled him into the grass, laughing as she hugged him tight enough to cut off his breathing.

'Hey girl,' Stiles whispered into her hair, hugging her back just as tightly, minus the werewolf strength, 'no tears come on, you promised.'

Erica let him go and held out a hand to let him up as she smiled through her tears and said 'Fuck, I missed you Batman.' Stiles tousled her hair and assured her, 'I miss you too beautiful.'

Boyd walked up, drawing Stiles in for a quick yet heartfelt embrace, before scuffing the back of his head. 'You stay this time you hear me Stilinski?'

'Yeah yeah, don’t get all cheesy on my account, you might pull a muscle.'

Boyd stared back at him, unimpressed. Stiles blushed and mumbled ‘Alright, alright, no need to get your panties in a twist, you know I’m here for the whole summer.’

Boyd harrumphed but didn’t say anything as he went to kiss Erica on the cheek while she pulled away from Lydia.

‘So,’ Stiles motioned to the huge pack house that now stood above the foundations of what had been the Hale mansion, ‘I take it your business is going to take off after this?’

Boyd ducked his head, looking shy all of a sudden, while Erica clapped her hands and said ‘Yeah! I mean we’re definitely not going to show this house to any future clients, but we can definitely trust our ability to pull this off now.’ She smiled at Boyd and Stiles felt so insanely proud of them. To have survived what they had, and come out the other side to build their own construction business from the ground up. Never let it be said that his pack couldn’t take over the world if they wanted to.

The door banged open yet again and he spread his arms out as Isaac tumbled out the front door and headed straight for Stiles while Allison walked out behind him at a more sedate pace towards Lydia, only to take her by the hand and lead her into the house at a brisk pace while Erica and Boyd catcalled the two.

Isaac was too busy breathing Stiles in, his nose buried in his neck, to say much of anything. As he disengaged, Stiles barked out a laugh. ‘Really, Isaac? It’s like 85 out.’

Isaac raised an eyebrow and shrugged while rearranging his scarf, looking so much like Derek in that moment that Stiles wanted to reach into his own chest, drag his beating heart out and stomp on it. Repeatedly. Who did he think he was kidding, telling himself earlier that the pain had dimmed over the years. The wound was so raw, still catching him unaware every day.

‘Where’s Scott?’ asked Stiles, to take his mind off it, and because he could not _wait_ to see his bro.

‘He’s at the clinic, a puppy got run over on Main Street this morning and he has to splint both her front legs.’

Stiles sighed fondly, knowing that Scott would not be back for a while if animal duty was calling. He rubbed his hands together: ‘Alright then! Show me around the house would you?’

‘Hmmm…’ said Isaac, just as the door opened one more time and it was Derek this time who came out, looking for all the world like he’d rather be anywhere but here. His eyes found Stiles’ and a little smile came upon his lips and he looked, well, as surprising as that was coming from Derek, hopeful for some reason. Stiles’ heart stopped and he focused all his energy on doing his best not to let it show.

‘What?’ he asked, looking away back to Isaac, ‘what’s going on?’

‘Let’s just say that Allison and Lydia are really happy to be reunited,’ said Erica behind him, sounding pained. ‘Makes me think of the last few months of high school, when you and-’ she cut herself off and coughed.

Stiles finished the sentence for her, “When Derek and I were fucking like bunnies, you mean. Don’t worry girl, that’s all ancient history. You definitely won’t have to live through that again.”

He smiled up at the man who broke his heart, hoping that none of his bitterness was showing through.

‘Stiles. Actually, could I talk to you for a minute?’ Derek's eyes shifted to his betas, currently standing a little behind Stiles, and he added, ‘In private?’

‘Umm, sure?’ Stiles answered, feeling off kilter as Derek nodded and walked off without saying anything else, headed for the forest that bordered the property. He looked back to the betas, hoping that one of them could give him a hint as to what their alpha wanted to talk to Stiles about that couldn’t be said in front of the others but Erica simply shook her head, Boyd was smiling – Boyd was smiling?! – and Isaac held up his hands in the classic you-won’t-get-me-to-talk gesture. Rolling his eyes, and trying to hide his anxiety, Stiles made to follow Derek.


	4. Sterek is Endgame

Derek was leaning against a tree in a clearing a couple miles from the house, listening to Stiles approach. He could hear his heartbeat, resonating unevenly against the other noises populating the forest. Derek exhaled, and tried to clear his head, preparing himself for the conversation he was about to have. The conversation he’d been hoping to have ever since he’d made the love of his life walk out on him.

He unsheathed and sheathed his claws a couple times, looking to settle down as the scent he’d spent so long trying to forget assaulted him. Stiles was quickly standing in front of him, albeit a few feet away, looking expectantly at Derek with his arms crossed.

‘I heard what you said to Boyd earlier. You weren’t lying. So you’re really staying the whole summer?’

Stiles opened his mouth and closed it back up. Then he smiled. It wasn’t a pretty smile. Derek swallowed.

Stiles answered ‘Still being creepy, I see.’ He chuckled. ‘Yeah Lyds and I decided we might as well try to stay a couple months this time.’ He shrugged. ‘I’m pretty sure she’ll be staying come the fall, what with Allison and all.’ Stiles winked. Derek’s throat was suddenly very dry.

Then Stiles looked away and rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly refusing to meet Derek’s eyes. ‘I probably won’t though. I think I’m going to try the East Coast for grad school.’

‘Please don’t leave again.’ The words came unbidden to Derek’s mouth. He cursed internally. Smooth Derek, real smooth, way to use the speech you spent four years practicing.

Stiles’ head turned back to him so fast he probably got whiplash. He looked surprised and, for the first time in maybe forever, at a loss for words. He eyes narrowed. He looked around, then back to Derek. He swallowed, Derek saw the movement of his throat. He shook his head, laughed bitterly, and made to step away, back towards the house. Panicked, Derek stepped forward and grabbed his wrist.

‘Wait,’ he begged.

Stiles cringed but didn’t try to step away again, ‘Look, don’t. We don’t need to do this, okay?’

No, not okay, Derek thought. He steeled himself and started talking. He just needed Stiles to give him the chance to explain. Give him the change to apologize. To love him again.

‘Stiles, you have to understand. You were seventeen. You had your whole life ahead of you. I could see you weren’t going to go. You were going to stay. For me. I couldn’t let you do that.’

Stiles yanked his wrist out of Derek’s hands, looking furious. ‘That wasn’t your choice to make Derek!’

‘Look Stiles, it was never going to work. I was a mess back then, a shell of a man. I could never have given you what you deserve. I barely had a pack, I had a suicidal streak a mile long, and the only thing that got me through the day was the thought of you weighing me down at night. That wasn’t fair to you. Against your better judgment, you were helping me hide against the world. You weren’t what I needed.’

Stiles sucked in his lip and wrapped his arms around his chest, suddenly looking small and lost. Derek hated that he could make Stiles, the strongest person he’d ever known, look like that. He thought back on his words and cursed ‘That’s not what I-’

‘Nope, it’s cool, I get it Derek, I wasn’t right for you. I kind of knew that already though so I don’t really understand why we have to have this conversation a second time. So, I’m gonna-’ Stiles pointed a thumb in the general direction of the house and made to turn.

Derek’s heart started beating painfully against his ribcage. He was failing at this.

‘Stiles, that’s not what I’m saying, if you’d just listen-’

‘Listen? I don’t want to listen Derek, I’ve heard it all before. Stiles, the spastic kid who weighs 147 pounds of pale skin and fragile bone. Stiles, the human of the pack who needs to stay alive so that he can do his magic tricks and kick the monsters back to hell. Stiles, the man who was never quite good enough to deserve you.’ Stiles breathed in and barrelled on ‘ _I. don’t. need this._ So if you’d just stop trying to break my heart all over again-’

‘Stiles, I broke my own heart that day.’

Silence. Derek waited for what he said to sink in.

‘What?’

To hell with it, thought Derek.

‘I loved you. God, I loved you, you have no idea. But I wanted to make you happy. And I needed to get my shit together for that to happen. You needed to go and get your degree and discover a world outside of Beacon Hills. Because you needed to know whether you wanted to stay here. Not for a lack of options, because God knows you could have and do anything you wanted, but because you chose us, you chose the pack. And I knew that you had to go out there and learn to live before you could come back here and choose this life. With me. Stiles, I want you to choose me.’

‘I… I don’t… I don’t understand what you’re saying.’

Derek stepped carefully closer to Stiles, raised his hands to cup his face, and stroked his thumbs along his cheekbones. He looked into the amber eyes that haunted his dreams and said:

‘Stiles Stilinski. I love you. I think I loved you from the moment I threatened to rip your throat out. With my teeth. I loved you then, and I love you now. I’ve loved you these past four years. I love you when I wake up in the morning and when I go to sleep at night. I love you when you’re 147 pounds of pale skin and fragile bone yet saving another one of us. I love you when you casually flick your wrist in the middle of a death-fest and dance around creatures trying to kill you, trapping them within a circle of mountain ash that you wished into reality. I love you when you refuse to give up on me, when every time I need your help trying to lead this pack, you’re here to help me, even though I broke you heart. Do you not understand? You’re the reason I’m not a broken man anymore.’

‘But you broke _me_ ,’ Stiles whispered, closing his eyes, ‘ _you broke me Der_.’

Derek closed his own eyes and rested his forehead against Stiles’, murmuring against his mouth.

‘I know, and I’m sorry. I know it’ll take time for you to believe it but I had to do it. But I’m done now. Please let me put you back together.’

Stiles shivered. Derek waited, silently asking whatever greater power was out there to convince Stiles to grant him that second chance.

Taken aback by the sudden movement, Derek actually stumbled back when Stiles shoved against his chest.

‘Stiles-’

‘No! You shut up and listen to me. I hate you! I love you, God I love you, but I hate you. What am I supposed to do with all this? I’ve spent the last four years trying to put myself back together thinking that I wasn’t good enough for you! Yes ok, I failed miserably at that, but that’s not the point. You don’t get to tell me all these…. things… and just expect me to waltz back into your arms. You made me leave Derek Hale. You made me leave and I left and now, what, you’re asking me to stay? How do I know you’re not going to make me leave all other again next week? Don’t answer that, I’m not done talking. And I know what you’re going to say anyways. Look at the house Stiles. Look at the house that I built for my pack. I’m well-adjusted now, I can be that person for you. Blah blah. And god I am so proud of you. I am so fucking proud of you Derek. For everything that you’ve built here over the last four years, and for you finally owning up to your responsibilities and helping your betas become the adults they are today. And I fucking well hope you’re proud of yourself as well, because I’m not going to be the healthy person in this relationship Derek. I can’t, not after what you did to me, and not with all my self-esteem issues. And if this is indeed what you needed to be better then okay fine I am happy for you and I’ll learn to forgive you but god I still hurt. So you’re going to have to be patient with me but you can’t complain about that, because half of it is your fault anyways and god I love you and _why are you smiling at me_?’

‘Because you just said we’re in a relationship.’ Derek couldn’t have stopped smiling if he’d tried. God he’d missed him. He’d missed his fast talking, his long monologues, his hands moving around as if he were swatting flies while he ranted, his refusal to let Derek get away with shit. He said as much: ‘God I missed you Stiles. Fuck.’

Stiles blushed and harrumphed, pointing a finger at Derek: ‘This isn’t going to be easy. We’re going to argue and some days I’m not going to believe you and you’d better not try to get yourself killed like you did in high school and the pack is always going to come first because-’

Derek nodded along to what Stiles was saying, feeling happiness bubble up inside of him, in that hole that he’d never thought he’d fill again. He walked towards Stiles, towards the rest of his life, and picked him up, wrapping his legs around his waist. They’d have to work through a lot of the past, heal old wounds, and make promises to each other. Derek couldn’t wait. He had a pack, he had a house, and now he could have a Stiles. He hoped his family would have been proud of who he had become. He wasn’t surprised to note that he could now think of them without being crippled by pain and guilt. He smiled and tuned back into what Stiles was saying.

‘-and I’m telling you Derek, my dad will probably shoot you when he sees you and you don’t get to complain about that-’ He kept walking until Stiles’ back hit a tree.

‘Stop talking Stiles.’

‘Make me.’

‘Gladly.’

And suddenly his lips were touching Stiles’ and all the pieces of him were finally, finally fitting together.

 


End file.
